Category Archives: Texts

Wie man Minister wird

Neulich las ich auf Twitter, wie Spahn Minister wurde (natürlich ein Scherz):

Merkel: “So Jens, jetzt zu dir. Wo bringen wir dich denn unter? Hast du eigentlich was richtiges gelernt?” – 
Seehofer (niest) – 
Spahn: “Gesundheit!” – 
Merkel: “Na gut, meinetwegen.”

© Thomas Hübner and mytwostotinki.com, 2014-8. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without expressed and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Thomas Hübner and mytwostotinki.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 


The Newspaper Seller

Back home after a longer absence. It’s a beautiful day I am spending outside, reading. Usually on such a day, I pass by a small kiosk where an old man sells newspapers and journals and where I am a regular customer. We know each other since years, the old, friendly, soft-spoken gentleman in his seventies and I. When I say, we “know” each other, it means he knows what I buy and read, and since he is always also reading a book (usually a classic), we give each other a nod, acknowledging that we belong to the same secret society of readers. A few times we had a short chat, and I gathered from the way he talked that he is an educated person with a philosophical attitude to life who needs to top up the ridiculous pension the state pays to people who have all their life gone to work and were honest citizens, in order to be able to pay his utility bills and medicaments.

But this time, something is different. The kiosk is closed. Easter holiday, I think. But I am wrong. “Sales person wanted for this kiosk” says the announcement pinned on the closed kiosk. It seems that my friend, the newspaper seller, has found a better occupation. At least that’s what I tell myself without really believing it…

 

Postscript: 

I passed by the same kiosk a few days later – and the newspaper seller was back! He will move to relatives in another town in a few days. I was very glad to see him and wished him all the best for his new chapter in life.

All this on Orthodox Easter. It seems like somebody wanted to teach the unbelieving Thomas a lesson.

© Thomas Hübner and mytwostotinki.com, 2014-8. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without expressed and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Thomas Hübner and mytwostotinki.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 


Biography vs. Oeuvre

Usually, I am not very much interested in the lives of the authors I am reading. When you read a biography of a writer it frequently turns out that they were more or less like you and me, at least on the surface. What made them different and outstanding was their ability to create literature. As a private person, most of them seem not to have been very remarkable, and more frequently than not, they are described by those who knew them as rather self-centred, narcissistic, or unsupportable human beings. There are a few exceptions of course, writers that – if you had the opportunity – you would have liked to meet in real life, simply for being the extraordinary and/or truly good person they have obviously been. Montaigne or Lichtenberg come to mind, but also Chekhov.

© Thomas Hübner and mytwostotinki.com, 2014-8. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without expressed and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Thomas Hübner and mytwostotinki.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 


Старият феномен

Старият феномен. Човек го пише грешно от невежеството, а останалите следват инстинкта на стадото. Но все още се нарича “Канун на Лек Дукаджини” (Kanuni i Lekë Dukagjinit), а не “Канун на Лек Дукагини”. Жалко.

© Thomas Hübner and mytwostotinki.com, 2014-8. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without expressed and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Thomas Hübner and mytwostotinki.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 


Джеф Безос и аз

Един умен потребител на ФБ от Русе разбра най-накрая истината за мен. Истината е: името ми е Джеф Безос и аз съм основният акционер на Амазон и най-богатият човек на света!. Да, не се шегувам. И това е как той разбра: тъй като съм издател на платформа CreateSpace, която наскоро публикува две книги от групата NSP и CreateSpace е платформата за самоиздателство на Amazon, истината зад всичко това може да бъде само: Джеф Безос е издател на Новата социална поезия, а в България Джеф Безос използва псевдонима Томас Хюбнер. Сега се страхувам от адвокатите на този умен човек, който ще направи всичко по силите си, за да ме изгони в Русе, където ще ме поставят в килия, където трябва да слушам цял ден на лента с поезия на този човек. И повярвайте ми, в сравнение с това, waterboarding е парче торта!

© Thomas Hübner and mytwostotinki.com, 2014-8. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without expressed and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Thomas Hübner and mytwostotinki.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 


Moldauisches Heft (5): Deutsch lernen in Chisinau

In meinem Lieblingscafe. Neben mir ein junges Paar beim Deutschlernen. Er spricht seit 10 Minuten über die Bedeutung der Wörter “schwul” und “Schwuchtel”. Auch der Ausruf “Scheiß drauf!” scheint für das Erlernen meiner Muttersprache von grösster linguistischer Bedeutung, wenn man den Eifer bedenkt, den die beiden der korrekten Aussprache und Anwendung dieses Ausrufs widmen. 

Jetzt schauen die beiden zu mir herüber und wundern sich, warum ich so ungehemmt lache. 

© Thomas Hübner and mytwostotinki.com, 2014-8. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without expressed and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Thomas Hübner and mytwostotinki.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 


изненада

аз съм изненадан, че един млад български поет, с когото дори веднъж споделях вечеря и приятелски разговор, и за когото винаги мислих добре, харесва пост на един психически небалансиран човек, който ме нарича свиня, без особена причина. но хей, това са кръговете на българските поети, така че всичко е възможно …

© Thomas Hübner and mytwostotinki.com, 2014-8. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without expressed and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Thomas Hübner and mytwostotinki.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 


Moldauisches Heft (4): morbider vierzeiler

die dachlawine hat mich nicht niedergestreckt
der herabfallende ast hat mich verfehlt 
und die schildkröten sind noch im winterschlaf 
das elysium muss noch warten

© Thomas Hübner and mytwostotinki.com, 2014-8. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without expressed and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Thomas Hübner and mytwostotinki.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 


Moldauisches Heft (3): umstellung auf die sommerzeit

umstellung auf die sommerzeit
zur feier des tages mache ich
einen spaziergang durch die schneewehen

© Thomas Hübner and mytwostotinki.com, 2014-8. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without expressed and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Thomas Hübner and mytwostotinki.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 


Moldauisches Heft (2): Gottsuche

Gottsuche

Die beiden Zeugen Jehovas und ihr Stand mit dem „Wachturm“ neben der Haltestelle, an der ich morgens auf den Bus warte, gehören zum Straßenbild in Chisinau wie die Trolleybusse und das Denkmal von Stefan cel Mare. Bei der Vorbeifahrt an verschiedenen Kirchen bekreuzigt sich jedes Mal ein Teil der Fahrgäste in der orthodoxen Art („rechts vor links“). Auf dem Nachhauseweg passiere ich später im Park die Falun-Gong-Leute, die dort ihr Lager aufgeschlagen haben, weiche unterwegs den beiden adrett gekleideten lächelnden jungen Männern aus Amerika aus, die gerne Passanten zum wahren mormonischen Glauben konvertieren möchten, bleibe kurz am Schaufenster der Buchhandlung stehen, wo mir Osho und der Papst auf Buchdeckeln entgegensehen. Vom Turm der nahegelegenen Kirche schlägt es zur vollen Stunde, als ich zuhause ankomme. Während ich in der Küche Kaffee zubereite, sehe ich vom Fenster aus, dass die Hare-Krishna-Jünger heute fünf Minuten später als üblich singend vorbeiziehen. So viel Suche nach Gott an einem Ort, den dieser offenbar längst verlassen hat. 

© Thomas Hübner and mytwostotinki.com, 2014-8. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without expressed and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Thomas Hübner and mytwostotinki.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.